I get great pleasure out of sharing it [her feeling about the story] with you， who really understand how terribly much it means as a tangible testimony that I have got a germ of writing ability. The only thing， I probably won't have a chance to win Mlle again， so I'll try for a guest editorship maybe next or my senior year， and set my sights for the Atlantic. God， I'm glad I can talk about it with you —— probably you're the only outlet that I'll have that won't get tired of my talking about writing …

    Speaking again of Henry and Liz， it was a step for me to a story where the protagonist isn't always ME， and proved that I am beginning to use imagination to transform the actual incident. I was scared that would never happen， but I think it's an indication that my perspective is broadening.

    Sometime I think —— heck， I don't know why I didn't stay home all summer， writing， doing physical science， and having a small part-time job. I could "afford" to now， but it doesn't do much good to yearn about that， I guess. Although it would have been nice. Oh well， I'll cheer up. I love you.

    Your own Sivvy

    June 15， 1952

    Dear Mother.

    … Do write me letters， Mommy， because I am in a very dangerous of feeling sorry for myself … Just at present， life is awful. Mademoiselle seems quite unreal， and I am exhausted， scared， incompetent， unenergetic and generally low is spirits … Working in side hall puts me part， and I feel completely uprooted and clumsy. The more I see the main hall girls expertly getting special dishes， fixing shaved ice and fruit， etc.， the more I get an inferiority complex and feel that each day in side hall leaves me further behind … But as tempted as I am to be a coward and escape by crawling back home， I have resolved to give it a good month's trial —— till July 10 … Don't worry about me， but do send me little pellets of advice now and then.

    June 24， 1952

    … Last night I went on a "gang" birthday party at the "Sand Bar" where we sang and talked for a few hours. There were about forty of us kids from the hotel. I managed by some magic to get myself seated next to a fellow in his first year at Harvard Law —— and he was just a dear … The best part was when we came back. It was a beautiful clear starry night， and Clark went in to get me two of his sweaters to wear because it was cold， and brought out a book of T.S. Eliot's poems. So we sat on a bench where I could just barely read the print， and he put his head in my lap and I read aloud to him for a wile. Most nice. The only thing is I am so inclined to get fond of someone who will do things with me like that —— always inclined to be too metaphysical and serious conversationally —— that's my main trouble … So glad to hear the check from Mlle is real. I hardly could believe it. Just now I am mentally so disorganized that I can't retain knowledge or think at all. The work is still new enough to be tiring， what with three changes a day into uniforms， and I am so preoccupied by mechanics of living and people that I can't yet organize and assimilate all the chaos of experience pouring in on me. In spite of everything， I still have my good old sense of humor and manage to laugh a good deal of the time … I'll make the best of whatever comes my way.

    Much love to you，

    Sivvy

    Phrases & Expressions

    no doubt without doubt； certainly

    to top it off（usu. introducing sth. undesirable） in addition to everything else

    be stuck in be unable to escape from （a disadvantageous position）

    know one's way around/ about understand how things happen in the world； be experienced in the way of the world

    as for in regard to； speaking of； concerning