《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧第2页
)L(惊愕):What?Themayor’on?Themostfamoulayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’obreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imihersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Ha’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohy,asonwithoutawifeisusele.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadiuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythitreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AamC:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyiroken!
B:Ifwecaotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’onisgoingtomarryMiLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&am:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpoible!
AamC:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&amJ:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadiuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythitreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johy!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
