http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/viewthread.php?tid=340565
以fatigue为标题，写一篇大作文。红包截止到12月7日晚上11点。
---------------------------------
我现在要经常让大家练习作文
最后一个月，英语就在作文上提高最大！
---------------------------------
Fatigue
Sometimes,we try our best to memorize the significant things but it maybe（改成may） beat the air.Why the endeavor result in nothing?The concernful cause is fatigue.For example, if you want to finish the work at night which have went（改成gone） to waste your whole day ,you may find, your efficiency of the work will（would） be reduce（reduced） worse and worse .
So,what can you do when you confront as(没见过confront as这个用法） the situations above? First and foremost,not（是don't） do more work.Although most work set a time limite,But（but不能与Although同时出现，必须去掉） we can rest after finishing a part of for some time, so in the next section, which will not only improve the efficiency, but also make more power.Second ,build up the group. This means you can work with each other in spite of some pionts of disagreement or dispute,but you will find that this is neither fatigue nor lazy.Last but not least,coffee is similar to a number of things can be refreshing to prevent fatigue.This is the best method （which）is not to recommended ,or be used with caution.
Hence,fatigue is not the big（用得不好） weakness in our life（lives）,as long as you have enough confidence and persaverance ,you will overcome it.
引用: 低级的语法错误不少啊！看来你需要背几篇文章了，看看地道的英语到底是怎么说的。不过，你能够认真练习，说明你已经进步了。而你现在要练得更多。加油！——笔为剑
[ 本帖最后由 笔为剑 于 2008-12-8 12:58 编辑 ]
---------------------------------
自己指正： 最后一行，perseverance，毅力。拼写错了。 ==|||
---------------------------------
大家来评价一下吧！
---------------------------------
蓝希的这篇文章适合学英语的中国学生来看，很典型的中文语法痕迹。里面的一些词语用法不是很合适。
but it maybe beat the air
which have went to waste your whole day
But we can rest after finishing a part of for some time
蓝希写的时候注意一下，里面的一些语法点很容易改正的。你也可以把文章拿到群里讨论一下，让天心或者其他研友给你修改修改。里面的一些语法错误我知道，但是一些词语的更好使用我给不了你建议。
老大，你出的题目能不能把范围弄小点，题目的范围太大了。一看这样的题目，就给人一种冲动想谈人生，可惜又谈不出来
[ 本帖最后由 nvzhan 于 2008-12-8 10:59 编辑 ]
---------------------------------
引用:原帖由 nvzhan 于 2008-12-8 09:30 发表
老大，你出的题目能不能把范围弄小点，题目的范围太大了。
你可以自己往小里写嘛
谈不出来，是因为自己能力有限，组织不起语言。所以才要多加练习。
---------------------------------
哇~~
谢谢笔斑和怒斩了~~ 我会加把劲儿的~~~
